This Upcoming Weekend
Topic: Life
I see how this weekend is going to go. Click Here.

The above mentioned entry is from Vince's journal. We talked about my expectations for this weekend and such. Reading that entry it seems to me that his feelings for me have changed somewhat. It's all good though because I'm not going down there to get married or anything like that. I'm thinking, this weekend I need to initiate "Plan 1", sort of speak.

Tonight I'm going to see Re'ale. This will more than likely be the last day we see each other before I return from my vacation. He says that he's going to miss me and just romp around the house this weekend, but I'll be calling him this weekend to check on him. And yes I'll miss him while I'm gone.

More Later...

Tuesday Morning...
Topic: Life
Tuesday Morning.

Only 3 days until my trip to DC.

I read an interesting entry in Vince's weblog this morning. click here to read it. In my last entry I said that he really liked this other guy that lives in DC. He countered with this entry. (Note: When did blogging become a competition?) Bottom line is that I think Vince is cool but I'm not trying to get married. I'm just trying to have fun.

Speaking of fun, Re'ael came over yesterday. It had been several days since we had any type of quality time. So I hit it. I hit it hard. It was so good that it took his headache away. We started kissing almost as soon as he got in the door. Then we almost fall on the bed, still kissing. Clothes start going every which way, and as I find his spots with my tongue he starts talking to me in Spanish (which really gets me going by the way). Finally I enter him, work it for about a good 10 minutes before he tells me to stop because he couldn't take it anymore. So I take it out and we both climax. Then we go to sleep in each other's arms. (sigh)

Back to my associate that left me standing at Midway Airport on Saturday. Haven't heard from him since early Sunday morning. Like I said in my last entry, when I do get in his neck of the woods on Friday, I won't be in a big hurry to see him. There are certain things you do not do, and playing with a person like that (and then stop calling/texting them) is one of them.

More later...

Another Weekend Goes By...
Topic: Life
I finally heard from my so-called associate that left me standing at Midway on Saturday morning. He claims that he was in a car accident and couldn't call for hours and hours because he was in the hospital. Now while this may have happened I need proof because I have heard this EXACT line so many times over the years, and when you hear a lie so many times you want to see proof before you finally say "Ok I believe you".

This weekend Re'ael came with me to church. He looked like he truly enjoyed the service. I truly enjoy his company, he makes me feel really wonderful. Since he's graduating in 3 weeks I planned a special weekend for him. I reserved a suite at a Hilton in the suburbs, and we're going to have that, plus dinner and a movie. In other words, a nice romantic evening away from home - for both of us. I was joking with him because he likes to play with his cell phone a lot, and I told him "for this particular weekend, leave your cell phone at home", knowing full well he won't be doing that. :)

On to Vince. I've been reading his journal and it seems that he really likes this other guy that lives in his area. In all honesty that's what I'd been hoping for all along because I've had my share of long-distance relationships and not really rushing to do that again. Like I've said all along, this particular trip to DC this upcoming weekend is going to be one of rest and relaxation. No expectations at all. No long-term commitments, no weddings, no ties. Just FUN...especially since I haven't really had a vacation SINCE my last trip to DC.

More later...

Fake Ass Niggas That Wanna Be Your So-Called Friends
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
I truly hate being played with, especially extremely early in the morning.

Let me set the stage: Midway Airport, 7:30AM on a beautiful Saturday morning. Waiting for a buddy that was supposed to be flying in this morning. 7:45...nothing. 8:00? Nothing. Not answering phone calls, not coming through security. Finally, at 8:30, after numerous phone calls, pages and cups of coffee, I depart. Oh did I mention that it cost almost $5 to park at Midway for this failed adventure?

Moral of this story? First of all, please do NOT play with people, ESPECIALLY real early in the morning. You never know when you'll need them again. Secondly, NEVER try and screw a Gemini, because you'll end up being the one that's going to get screwed. Now as for my friend that decided not to show up this morning, I have a little surprise in store for him next week when I'm in his neck of the woods. All I'll say is that it won't be pleasant.

Time to catch up on some sleep. More later....

Kudos to Tony
Topic: Life
My friend Tony had something very interesting on his weblog this morning, and I thought I'd share it with everybody:

And while I have not forgotten about the Manifesto, here’s a brief excerpt on the whole this Down-Low bullshit. And that’s pretty much what it is, bullshit. Regardless of whether you’re straight, gay or bisexual and you are within a monogamous relationship, CHEATING IS WRONG. Doesn’t matter if your side piece is a dick, pussy or ass, DO NOT CHEAT. If your current situation is not working out have the common courtesy to say something to your partner/wife/husband and leave.

It’s really that simple, this is America people and the divorce rate is somewhere above 50%. A few more break ups won’t kill the country. But I can’t sit here and solely blame negros because the media really did instigate this down low issue and blew it out of proportion. Now the DL brothers are now responsible for high HIV statistics, cancer, female pattern baldness and drunk up all the red Kool-Aid. While I can’t the refute the numbers pumped out by the Center of Disease Control where one third of all gay black men are HIV positive, but I have a problem with constant villanizing the gay population. To spout a tired line, black people don’t see the doctor now, after chalking up gay black men as the new anti-Christ what makes people think that they’ll go for testing, counseling and follow ups. People should think before they start point fingers because soon or later those fingers will point back to themselves.

Did that last line sound like Jerry Springer’s Final Thought or what? On a semi-related note, I was somewhere, on some site reading comments which is what I do LURK, and I was sadden by the ignorance of one commentator. Their words exactly “These faggots need to stop killin’ and infecting the str8 females with HIV and go back to killing each other.” No, this wasn’t from GodHatesFag.com and I was upset because there’s a still a great deal of people who don’t know how this virus affects people. I have several close friends and associates who are LIVING with the virus, not out killing straight women or infect others. Being HIV positive is not a death sentence, I wish more people could see that.

I have to give Tony his props for this entry, because it's all true. I share his sentiments on the whole DL/HIV thing, because like I said before, it's all true.

And that's my 5 minutes on this topic. More later...

Vince
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Life
I was reading Vince's weblog this morning and it's obvious that he really REALLY likes me. This entry tells pretty much the story.

And he is a cutie. :)

More Later...

People, Part 2
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
I thought last night took the cake...nope, Twan gets second place in that category.

Isn't it amazing how people that you are not in a relationship with want to question you and act as if you are in a relationship with them? If there is no formal relationship established, then I have the freedom to do whatever I choose to do. Last time I checked I was an adult. Twan, do NOT question what I do with whom and where I do it! You are on the outside looking in. Keep your place.

All this stems from him inquiring to certain places I've been today, why I didn't call him in a speedy manner or respond to his text messages. Needless to say, Twan won't be making it to the bonus round. We got some nice parting gifts for him.

More later...

People
Now Playing: Piero Umiliani - Crepuscolo Sul Mare (Twilight on the Sea)
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
You know people will never cease to amaze me. I continue to think that I've seen it all but someone always pops up and shows me that they can top the cake.

Let's take Twan for instance. He comes over tonight with a fever of 102 and obviously coming down with some bug, but doesn't want to admit that he's sick and coming down with a bug. He changes his story at least twice, first saying it's "the stomach flu" then says it's "food poisoining". Bottom line is with a temperature of 102 (and as he put it it's gone as high as 104.5) he needs to immediately get lots of rest, drink plenty of fluids and see a doctor. His answer is coming over and possibly passing whatever it is on to me, thus making me sick, and so on. Needless to say he wasn't spending the night over here tonight.

Another person that takes the cake? Sylvester. Haven't heard from him in the longest and he finally pops up out of the woodwork this evening...called about 15 minutes ago at 12:20AM. Anyone will tell you that any calls that come in after midnight, except in cases of emergency, are BOOTYCALLS. No ifs, ands or buts about it. It's a work-night and you're calling someone at almost 12:30 in the morning to talk about nothing...or to see how they're doing? Yeah, right. And I'm Julia Roberts.

Only 12 days to go until my trip. It'll be good to see Al and Vince. Like I've said all along this year I'm going to truly have a good time, and nothing is going to stand in my way this time around.

Back to work tomorrow. More later...

Logs
Now Playing: Kem - Say - Kemistry
Topic: Tech Stuff
I made mention in a previous entry that I upgraded my website's security system, more specifically the IP address locater. Tonight I was just peeking through the logs and I'm impressed! You know people actually view this page from Colorado, Virginia, Massachusetts, and even Wisconsin! I had no idea that my website (more specifically my weblog) was that popular. I appreciate the opportunity to bring forth details about my life with everyone, especially certain individuals that told me to my face that I'd "never amount to anything". Well if I'll never amount to anything, then why are these people constantly reading my pages? Reading my weblog? Seems strange to me, but then again it doesn't. You know in anger the mouth will say a lot of things, even some things that we don't really mean to say - or some things that we didn't have the balls to say when things were a little cooler. Bottom line is that as soon as we realize we said something we shouldn't have said, foot goes into mouth. So let me make a public apology right now to all those people that I may have hurt in the past, including and especially someone living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. You know who you are.

Now, moving on to other events of today.

Two weeks (and one day) until my trip to Washington DC. Excited? Yup. Losing sleep over it? Not really, but it will feel good to get away for a while. I have a long list of activities lined up, and yes this year some of those activities does involve clubbing....lol Last year I didn't really enjoy myself because I fell ill, but this year even that won't stop me!

More later...

Transit Tales
Topic: Life
Honestly, traveling on the Chicago Transit Authority in the morning can be hilarious. Let's take this morning for instance.

Boarded a local #3 King Drive bus at my usual stop. It was an articulated bus, which means about 70 seats. The farebox was broken, which means free ride for everyone. Keep in mind it's raining, no one really wants to go to work and traffic is mildly affected. This has to be the slowest bus driver I have ever seen. It took 30 minutes to get from McCormick Place (2300 South) to Monroe and Michigan (100 South/100 East). Along the way the bus driver is literally ignoring the "Stop Request" signal, passing up people's bus stops. We get to 11th Street and an older lady pulls the cord. The bus driver slows down, prepares to stop, and then accelerates. The lady is pushing on the back door (which won't open) and yelling to the driver "open the door!! why won't you open the door?" The driver finally lets her off at 9th street.

While I'm on the subject of the driver, it makes no sense that this particular driver not only drove 15 miles an hour all the way downtown, but found it necessary to stop and talk to his supervisor for five minutes. In rush hour. On a major street. With angry passengers already late for work. This driver had a death wish.

Let's not forget the passengers that have no knowledge of how to deal with passengers trying to exit the bus. When you are forced to stand in the exit vestibule, and people are trying to use the exit door, common sense would dictate that the person either steps off the bus or gets out of the way. This caucasian man stood in the exit vestibule, and 7 people wanted to get off at Congress. This man DID NOT MOVE and expected everyone to GO AROUND HIM. Naturally, he got run over and literally pushed out of the way. Makes me feel as if I'm in New York.

Just think, the Chicago Trifling...oops, I mean Transit Authority is about to slash service by 30 percent and raise fares to unheard of levels.

The Two F's - Funny and Freaky
Topic: Life
I found this cool blog about CTA stories. Check it out for yourself by clicking here. It amazes me what type of stuff will happen on the city's transit system. Speaking of, the chairwoman of the Chicago Transit Authority has set up a blog answering questions about CTA, as well as the justification for preparing to raise fares and cut service (which is the same as gutting the CTA all together). You can see that blog by going to this link.

That was the funny stuff...now down to the freaky stuff.

Re'ael and I spent the past two evenings together. (No overnight visits except for the first one earlier in the week.) We've been talking, watching movies, and literally fucking like rabbits. The boy is not afraid of showing his freaky side...like today. For a big boy he can surely put his legs in some interesting positions, such as all the way up and all the way across. Talk about being flexible! He stretched his legs like that tonight while we were making out. We bumped and grinded for about a half-hour before we made me explode, and I him. Yesterday we had a repeat of last Sunday...only difference is this time we screwed for about an hour. The most romantic thing that happens when I have sex with Re'ael is that right after we climax and clean up, we fall asleep in each other's arms, and it feels so wonderful.

I haven't seen Twan since last Friday. He was supposed to come over last night but didn't because he got off work at about 1:00AM. Tonight I was hoping he'd come over but I haven't heard anything from him, save a text message he sent this afternoon in response to my inviting him over tonight. He said, quite basically, we'll c. In this race he just slid back to third.

Not sure if I talked about David. David is an attractive caucasian that hit me up on men4now, this website that I log onto for my "special moments". We met, talked, hit it off and it's apparent to me that he wants, very dearly, to be committed to someone. It can happen...only with time though. We're supposed to be hanging out on Thursday evening. Hopefully the weather will cooperate so we can truly hang out and get to know each other.

More later...

Bringing Stuff Forth - Part 2
Topic: Life
In my last entry, there was one name I neglected to put forth, Re'ale (pronounced ReAl). Re'ale is 6'4, 250 pounds and very attractive. We met off of the internet and have basically been hanging out for most of this weekend. He's 19, about to go to school and has a very wonderful heart. He's also pretty much as freaky as Twan. For instance this morning he was here (he spent the previous night with me, and it felt good, more later) and he absolutely loves to kiss. He's pretty damn good at it too, especially when he uses the tongue-ring that he's got...we pretty much explored every inch of each other's bodies, before I entered him. (If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a versatile brotha.) Being inside him felt absolutely wonderful. We went at it for about 20 minutes before climaxing. Then we fell back asleep in each other's arms.

Moving on, I talked to Twan this evening. We haven't seen each other all weekend because he's had to work. He did tell me that he is coming over tomorrow night...and that he's staying the night with me. I'm not gonna lie, I am craving Twan, very badly. I want a repeat of what happened the last time we were together. Just thinking about him taking control and being a nigga on his business makes me feel real good inside (and makes me really hard too).

Also spoke with Vince tonight. He's got me really kinda nervous about seeing him now because tonight he confessed to taking Ectasy. Now I'm concerned because the one thing I have a zero tolerance for is drugs. Weed is aiight, but Ectasy is way on another planet somewheres. I appreciate him telling me that but it makes me real leery.

A random note totally off-topic: I upgraded my IP tracking program on my webpage and weblog so now I can zero in on anyone that reads my journal, all the way down to their username on their server. Before I only had access to their server names but not anymore!

More later...

Bringing Stuff Forth
Now Playing: I'm Not Tired Yet - Mississippi Mass Choir
Topic: Life
OK tonight I get to bring some stuff forward. Some of this stuff might not be suitable for the younger crowd, so proceed with caution.

Let me just say this now: I'm a freak. A BIG freak. Yes I love sex and can't get enough of it. I guess that's one thing that some people that I've dated can say about me (among other things). There are some people in my life that I've messed around with, others that I would LOVE to mess around with, and some I wish I had NEVER messed around with. A good example of someone I have messed around with is Twan. Twan is very attractive, masculine, a big freak like me and knows EVERYTHING about me. (If you truly know me you know what I'm getting at.) Anyhow Twan comes over, we're watching TV and I truly can't resist him. Next thing you know clothes are going every which way and we're making hot passionate love all over the house. The boy truly has it going on! For the first time in a long time I felt good that night and let him do certain things that I wouldn't let the average person do, including my previous two ex's. I took him inside me, right before we exploded all over the place. Yes, being with him I also discovered my versatile side. After we finished we just laid there in the bed in each other's arms and drifted off to sleep. That is stuff that I miss, truly.

Let me not forget the fact that there is someone waiting for me in DC: Vince. Vince is a wonderful person and I await the opportunity to get to know him and to be with him. He's attractive, sweet, and quite possibly just as hot and freaky as I am. He's said several things over the past few days that's making me truly want him, such as the fact that each time I talk to him he gets hard and has explained in detail what he wants to do, such as this text message he sent me:
I like you. I want u to fuck me nice and hard.
All I can say is that I want to as well! If you were to see a photo of this person you would understand.

I guess some people would say I have an addiction to sex but I call it a passion for it. I guess some people would say I'm a hoe but we've all been a hoe at one point or another right? Sure people can say they love sex but not very many people can actually prove it.

I can.

Another Sunday Night
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Elle (Copyright Re-Edit) - DJ Gregory
Topic: Life
Just another Sunday. Nothing that exciting to report.

With the warmer weather approaching, it's time to figure out what to do for my birthday. So far it's a toss up between inviting all my friends/associates over and chillin out (having a get-together) or going out with my closest friends. I still have a month or so to decide, so we'll see.

Tony and I went out to the club on yesterday. We actually had fun. Saw a few people there that I knew and got a chance to see Tony get "affected"...it was quite funny. I got in about 3am and went to sleep. Got up today, kicked around the house and went to church. Now I'm sitting in the house, chillin out, getting ready to go back to the dungeon tomorrow. I guess I shouldn't call my job a dungeon, but I'm grateful for it, because so many people out there aren't working.

I've fallen in love with ITunes from Apple. 99 cents a clip; you can't beat that! I think I've spent about $10 downloading stuff (including the track I'm listening to now). I guess I can thank Tony for that too because he introduced me to it, and now I can't get enough of it.

Dinner's ready. More later...

I'm Honored!!!
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
When niggas find it necessary to tell lies about you to people you don't even know, you should be honored. It shows that they are exerting so much energy about you and about the past that they get mad that they fucked shit up.

A certain individual finds it necessary to e-mail everyone that has left a comment in my blog telling lies about me. So let me put the truth out there. Mr. Ray Harrell is the one that is a psycho. When individuals have moved on and forgotton about them, they find it necessary to try and force their way back into your life. They will do anything, say anything, to make themselves seen, and to make it seem like it was the other person's fault. That in itself is usually an ADMISSION OF GUILT.

No one will intimidate me, no one will make me fear them by spreading lies. Especially no tired sick bastard in another state.

So because of this I have blocked all comments to this blog. If you'd like to leave a comment please feel free to e-mail me. Oh by the way a footnote, I had to approve all comments before they were seen, so stupid bullshit was not (and never will be) seen by the public.

Glad It's Done!
Mood:  happy
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
In exchange for getting Ray to leave me alone I agreed to give him back his share of the money he paid for the hotel. I thought I'd have to wait until May 14 but thanks to the good old Bank, I'm able to give him back his money TODAY. (Thank you God!) I'm sending him a check; I seriously hope that he does what the enclosed letter says, which is to cash the check IMMEDIATELY.

This is how much I want to be done with him and to put him behind me.

We now resume our regularly scheduled program - already in progress...

People Can't Get Over Me
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
This entry is all about me this evening.

Why is it that homosexuals that ended a relationship all of a sudden want to question what the ex is doing? Why is it that homosexuals (hence known as fags) want to try and run interference with someone that they do not know?

I'm wondering why Ray is still all up in my business. I know why. Because he hasn't gotton over me yet. I suggest he does, because I've already played past him. Been played past him. Yes I'm dating because I knew from jump that our previous relationship was a JOKE. Am I trying to jump into another relationship? Nah. Am I trying to get to know people? Of course. Who knows, maybe I'll find somebody that isn't a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or trying to hide something. Maybe I'll find someone that is 100...hell, ONE time better than Mr. Ray Harrell.

More later...

Funtime
Now Playing: Gonna Make You Get Down (mix) - Dweed
Topic: Life
Well needless to say, I had fun on Saturday night when I went out to the Nutbush. Saw a few people that I knew, met some new ones, networked, and had a blast. I initially said to myself that I would be leaving to head home about 12:30-1:00AM..instead I ended up staying until almost 2:00AM! It was that much fun. Probably the funniest moment was when this guy walks up to me and introduces himself. (I forgot his name.) We talk for about 30 seconds when he asks me what I'm doing after I leave the club. I told him "I'm going home". He asked me if I wanted to "hang out" with him and go to this other club way over on 63rd and Harlem somewheres. I probably would've gone with him until he told me "well since you live on the south side it's right by you". Why is it that everybody ASSUMES that because you live in one part of the city that everything is right by you? I turned him down, but not after he bought me another Coca-Cola.

I've been meeting people just to get to know them too. For instance I'm going to meet this guy named Vincent when I go to DC next month. Vincent seems like a cool guy, like someone I'd like to get to know. Only time will tell though. On the home front there's Dre. Now Dre I'm not so sure about because he came over to the house today and fell asleep. Understanding that he was tired, he shouldn't have come over, even if he wanted to see me. First impressions are the ones that last longest, right? My first impression of him is that he was tired, but wanted to see me anyway. Then he fell asleep, got back up, we went to get something to eat, came back to the house, and he wanted to play on the computer while I'm trying to get to know him and talk to him. Finally he leaves, but I digress. Then there's Jason, a brotha that lives on the south side. He's short, dark skinned and attractive. I'd like to see what's up there. Like I said before, right now I'm looking to date, and that's about it.

This weekend myself and a few friends are going to the casino. Haven't decided yet which one to go to, Horseshoe in Hammond or Potawatomi in Milwaukee. Horseshoe in Hammond is closer, but I have comp points for Potawatomi. I'll decide before Friday...I hope.

More later...

Trying Something Different
Now Playing: Seal - Love's Divine
Topic: Life
Being somewhat over the Ray incident now, I've decided to go out tonight. Yes you heard it, tonight I'm going out to shake my booty and have some fun.

I have to admit, going through the "Ray" incident taught me something. It taught me that I'm letting life pass me by and I'm not truly enjoying it. So we're going to try something different. I'm going to get out of the house more, meet new people, keep my friends in the loop and do things for ME, not for other people as I have done in the past.

Going back to tonight, I think I'm going to a club on the northside and will most definitely end up at the Nutbush in Forest Park. I was talking with my friend Iman about going out tonight and he almost fainted...that's how long it's been since I've been out. OK let me spell it out: LAST DECEMBER. Last December I went to the Prop House and said I'd never go there again. Why? $15 to get into a club to see a whole bunch of feminine boys vogue? No thank you. Not my cup of tea.

I updated my webpage tonight. Added some new links and stuff. Made it look a little cooler. Plus I met someone today. His name is Ralph and he lives in Detroit. Now while I'm not looking for a relationship (or even entertaining that option right now) I can still meet people and hang out with them. That's all I'm doing.

More later...

I'm Grateful...
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
I'm grateful that I got away from Ray. He is truly a "dr. jekyll and mr. hyde". One minute he claims to love and miss me, the next minute he's attempting to threaten me. One thing he should know is that I'm not easily intimiated. I know the law and have a pretty damn good lawyer. All of this is referring to the trip to DC next month. He decided yesterday that he didn't want to go because of the breakup. Not once did I tell him not to go. On all of the information, the receipts, everything, it clearly states, NO REFUNDS FOR ANY REASON. Why is he attempting to extort money from me? Because he's angry that we're done, that's why. Sorry kiddo, that's not going to work. And if it takes a restraining order to get him off my back, so be it!

More later...