The End
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
OK so last night Re'ale (notice the name isn't in bold anymore!) and I had a conversation. Actually more of a final fight since there was more yelling than conversing. All I wanted to know was what was going on...I mean REALLY going on. He stuck to his lie...I mean story about why he didn't call, saying things like I didn't know you couldn't leave messages on voicemail, it didn't occur to me to call your cell phone or to text message you. Now let us not forget that we've dated for over a month, and how many messages has he left on my voicemail at work? Also let us not forget that he has never forgotten to text message me or call my cell phone. Let us just say that he is a 19 year old...well I digress.

So after he told me these lies and I basically told him to cut the crap, I asked him if he thought this was a joke. HE STARTED GIGGLING. At that point I'm so angry that I'm literally seeing red, and I start shaking (the international sign that I'm ready to explode). At that point, I did. I told him to fuck off and to have a good fucking time at Northern...with a heavy emphasis on fucking.

My associate Charles was at the house and unfortunately, witnessed my episode. He calmed me down before I took him home and drove around the city until about 11:30pm, then came back home and went to bed.

Switching Gears....
The event that I'm hosting on Thursday made the RedEye newspaper this morning (page 29) and is listed on Metromix! I guess good things do some out of a somewhat difficult situation.

I'm leaving work at 1:00pm today. More later...

NOT a Normal Tuesday
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
I've got a few things to get off of my chest, so sit back and enjoy the ride......

First off, shout-outs to Tony, Trent, Vincent and ChurchBoy. A SPECIAL THANK YOU to Tony for letting me vent before he went to work this afternoon.

Here we go...
For starters, I simply do not understand why negroes simply want to continue to play games. Re'ale spent the night at my house last night, and when we left this morning it was by way of public transportation. He doesn't live in the safest area in the city so I asked him to call me when he got home. He agreed. SIX AND A HALF HOURS LATER I had to call him to see what was up! Needless to say I ended up getting very angry with him and slamming the phone down because personally, I feel that if a person agrees to do something, they should do it and not dick around about it. If a person is truly concerned about your safety and wants to make sure that you are ok, well damnit be grateful that somebody cares about you. And Re'ale, I am completely finished!!! I can no longer allow you to drive my blood pressure up or my T-cell count down because you're thinking that I'm either fuckin playin or think that this is a joke. STOP WASTING MY TIME BECAUSE IT'S TOO PRECIOUS TO WASTE!!!
STOP MAKING EXCUSES!!!
When I confronted him about his lack of calling, you know he told me that he didn't know he could leave messages on my work phone (lie #1), that it didn't occur to him to call my cell phone or text message me (lies #2 and #3 - total bullshit) and that he was sorry. I'm so sick and tired of people using the words "I'm Sorry" as a damn crutch!

ANOTHER THING about sorry ass niggas...while I was on my two-hour lunch today I was leaving the Thompson Center downtown and ran into this guy that I've known by-sight-but-not-really-by-name for years. We start walking and talking, and I decided I wanted to hang out with him this afternoon after I got off...you know, go have a cocktail or something. When it came time to exchange numbers this is how it went:
Tim: So what's your number so I can hit you up when I get off?
Person A: What's YOUR number?
Tim: Now come on, I asked you for your number first. Here's a pen and paper.
Person A: I'll give you mine after you give me yours.
Tim: I don't have time for games. Give me your number and I'll definitely do the same.
Person A: I can't give it out.
which immediately led me to taking my pen back from this scrub and leaving him standing there at Madison and Wabash. My point is, why do niggas always have to play a stupid game? My head hurts almost daily because people want to be ignorant and play ignorant games. I'm 28 years old and the only games I like to play or be played in are on my computer and PS2.

SPEAKING OF SORRY NIGGAS THAT LIKE TO PLAY GAMES....there's Craig. Now Craig and I have physically known each other for at least 3-4 years, ever since I lived in Hyde Park. Craig was even on American Idol...he made it to Hollywood but got cut. Now the last time we saw each other I lived in Hyde Park, and had to put him out of my house because I don't appreciate it when people tell me how to run my house. (Click here to read that particular entry.) Anyhow last Thursday we were supposed to hang out at my house - I even volunteered to pick him up from his house because his car wasn't available. At 2:00pm he agreed to that, but at 6:45pm when I was on my way to his house, he told me that he was afraid of my attitude and that I might jap out on him. I told him "whatever, I'll talk to you later" and hung up the phone. He ended up texting me this morning asking if he could see me tonight (obviously he has his car back but I digress) and I told him that I'd have to see. When I called him back at noontime, he had an attitude so I hung up and sent him a message basically telling him that we needed to chill out. He blew up my cell phone at that point explaining to me that he was not feeling well and on medication. If you're not feeling well and are on medication, why would you be coming over to my house to make me sick too???

OK - let's switch gears here.

Darren came over yesterday afternoon. We had a good time together. We talked, explained to each other what we wanted, and then decided to see if it could happen. We even decided to make plans to try and go to the White Sox game on July 4. I want to get seats on Club Level at $20 a pop. Darren seems like cool peeps, he works, is old school and likes to have fun. I think at this point however a relationship is not going to happen immediately because my mind isn't right. I'm not in the frame of mind of being in a relationship because right now I know I'm very bitter and jaded, because I've been treated like a throw rug for the longest. Who knows what can happen in the future however.....

Timberland Update:
I acquired 5 pairs of Timberlands this year: Red, White, Dark Blue, Tan and Burgandy. I want the black ones and the wheat ones, and my collection will be complete. I'll put a photo up here eventually. But yes I love Timberland, Enyce, Girbaud, Guess and Akademics.

Borrowing A Line:
Tony has gotton into Memes. I had to steal a post from him. It's called "Have You Honestly..."
1. ... got so drunk u woke up in an unfamiliar bed? well yeah i have, that's why i don't drink anymore.
2. ... got so pissed that you almost strangled someone? TODAY.
3. ... got so hungry you feel like eating your own flesh? ewww...no!
4. ... got so addicted to something that got you in trouble? oh yeah, DNA (dick n ass)
5. ... got so sick you feel like dying? yeah when i first got on my meds

I have the Mayor's reception tomorrow, Pride on the Plaza on Thursday, and the Pride Parade on Sunday. Also I no longer have a boyfriend so I guess I can let loose at the Pride Parade this year. I guess things do happen for a reason.

Thank you all for listening. More later...

Tuesday Night At The Movies
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
Last night Re'ale and I went to a sneak preview of the movie The Honeymooners. The movie itself was short and kinda nice but I found it kinda hard to get into at first, but as the movie went on I thought it was ok.

When we got to the theater, there was ONE LONG LINE that was so long it has wrapped around itself at least once. And unfortunately Re'ale and I had to be at the end of that line! (We found out that it was for two different sneak previews but they put everybody in one line.) Then the line started to move, around the corner, we came upon...

... METAL DETECTORS.
...AT THE SHOW.
I half expected to see some people from the TSA there. Theater security screened EVERYBODY, even went as far as going into people's bags and purses, even asking folks to show them their cell phones. (People, PLEASE STOP BOOTLEGGING - because of you all this is what we have to go through NOW!)

We went through security (man this sounds like I'm at the airport!) and got into the actual theater. All around us was ghetto fab folks, and although I can be a salamander and blend in with my surroundings, I couldn't blend in with this! To show you how ghetto fab these folks were, when the lights started going down and the movie began, folks was still walking in front of the screen, talking LOUDLY to each other, gabbing LOUDLY on their cell phones...hell I heard enough Nokia ringers that night to last me for the next two weeks! Finally everybody decided to shut up and watch the movie, but I guess folks don't know how to stay in their seats (or at least to duck down when they walk in front of the screen!). Folks kept walking in front of the screen all during the movie - all you saw was Cedric on the screen and a shadow of a body on the screen. COME ON PEOPLE!! STOP ACTIN LIKE YOU AT HOME WHEN YOU GO TO THE SHOW!

Anyhow, besides all the wanna-be-ghetto-fab at the show, it was a nice evening. Re'ale and I went back to my house for a little while and then I took him home. Tonight Re'ale is coming back over to stay the evening, and tomorrow evening we're attending a function together. Should be fun!!!

More later...

Fake Ass Niggas That Wanna Be Your So-Called Friends
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
I truly hate being played with, especially extremely early in the morning.

Let me set the stage: Midway Airport, 7:30AM on a beautiful Saturday morning. Waiting for a buddy that was supposed to be flying in this morning. 7:45...nothing. 8:00? Nothing. Not answering phone calls, not coming through security. Finally, at 8:30, after numerous phone calls, pages and cups of coffee, I depart. Oh did I mention that it cost almost $5 to park at Midway for this failed adventure?

Moral of this story? First of all, please do NOT play with people, ESPECIALLY real early in the morning. You never know when you'll need them again. Secondly, NEVER try and screw a Gemini, because you'll end up being the one that's going to get screwed. Now as for my friend that decided not to show up this morning, I have a little surprise in store for him next week when I'm in his neck of the woods. All I'll say is that it won't be pleasant.

Time to catch up on some sleep. More later....

People, Part 2
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
I thought last night took the cake...nope, Twan gets second place in that category.

Isn't it amazing how people that you are not in a relationship with want to question you and act as if you are in a relationship with them? If there is no formal relationship established, then I have the freedom to do whatever I choose to do. Last time I checked I was an adult. Twan, do NOT question what I do with whom and where I do it! You are on the outside looking in. Keep your place.

All this stems from him inquiring to certain places I've been today, why I didn't call him in a speedy manner or respond to his text messages. Needless to say, Twan won't be making it to the bonus round. We got some nice parting gifts for him.

More later...

People
Now Playing: Piero Umiliani - Crepuscolo Sul Mare (Twilight on the Sea)
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
You know people will never cease to amaze me. I continue to think that I've seen it all but someone always pops up and shows me that they can top the cake.

Let's take Twan for instance. He comes over tonight with a fever of 102 and obviously coming down with some bug, but doesn't want to admit that he's sick and coming down with a bug. He changes his story at least twice, first saying it's "the stomach flu" then says it's "food poisoining". Bottom line is with a temperature of 102 (and as he put it it's gone as high as 104.5) he needs to immediately get lots of rest, drink plenty of fluids and see a doctor. His answer is coming over and possibly passing whatever it is on to me, thus making me sick, and so on. Needless to say he wasn't spending the night over here tonight.

Another person that takes the cake? Sylvester. Haven't heard from him in the longest and he finally pops up out of the woodwork this evening...called about 15 minutes ago at 12:20AM. Anyone will tell you that any calls that come in after midnight, except in cases of emergency, are BOOTYCALLS. No ifs, ands or buts about it. It's a work-night and you're calling someone at almost 12:30 in the morning to talk about nothing...or to see how they're doing? Yeah, right. And I'm Julia Roberts.

Only 12 days to go until my trip. It'll be good to see Al and Vince. Like I've said all along this year I'm going to truly have a good time, and nothing is going to stand in my way this time around.

Back to work tomorrow. More later...

I'm Honored!!!
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
When niggas find it necessary to tell lies about you to people you don't even know, you should be honored. It shows that they are exerting so much energy about you and about the past that they get mad that they fucked shit up.

A certain individual finds it necessary to e-mail everyone that has left a comment in my blog telling lies about me. So let me put the truth out there. Mr. Ray Harrell is the one that is a psycho. When individuals have moved on and forgotton about them, they find it necessary to try and force their way back into your life. They will do anything, say anything, to make themselves seen, and to make it seem like it was the other person's fault. That in itself is usually an ADMISSION OF GUILT.

No one will intimidate me, no one will make me fear them by spreading lies. Especially no tired sick bastard in another state.

So because of this I have blocked all comments to this blog. If you'd like to leave a comment please feel free to e-mail me. Oh by the way a footnote, I had to approve all comments before they were seen, so stupid bullshit was not (and never will be) seen by the public.

Glad It's Done!
Mood:  happy
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
In exchange for getting Ray to leave me alone I agreed to give him back his share of the money he paid for the hotel. I thought I'd have to wait until May 14 but thanks to the good old Bank, I'm able to give him back his money TODAY. (Thank you God!) I'm sending him a check; I seriously hope that he does what the enclosed letter says, which is to cash the check IMMEDIATELY.

This is how much I want to be done with him and to put him behind me.

We now resume our regularly scheduled program - already in progress...

People Can't Get Over Me
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
This entry is all about me this evening.

Why is it that homosexuals that ended a relationship all of a sudden want to question what the ex is doing? Why is it that homosexuals (hence known as fags) want to try and run interference with someone that they do not know?

I'm wondering why Ray is still all up in my business. I know why. Because he hasn't gotton over me yet. I suggest he does, because I've already played past him. Been played past him. Yes I'm dating because I knew from jump that our previous relationship was a JOKE. Am I trying to jump into another relationship? Nah. Am I trying to get to know people? Of course. Who knows, maybe I'll find somebody that isn't a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or trying to hide something. Maybe I'll find someone that is 100...hell, ONE time better than Mr. Ray Harrell.

More later...

I'm Grateful...
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
I'm grateful that I got away from Ray. He is truly a "dr. jekyll and mr. hyde". One minute he claims to love and miss me, the next minute he's attempting to threaten me. One thing he should know is that I'm not easily intimiated. I know the law and have a pretty damn good lawyer. All of this is referring to the trip to DC next month. He decided yesterday that he didn't want to go because of the breakup. Not once did I tell him not to go. On all of the information, the receipts, everything, it clearly states, NO REFUNDS FOR ANY REASON. Why is he attempting to extort money from me? Because he's angry that we're done, that's why. Sorry kiddo, that's not going to work. And if it takes a restraining order to get him off my back, so be it!

More later...

Decisions - Some Made For Me, Some Made By Me
Now Playing: Japan - Kenny G
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
This entry has been labeled PRIVATE by the weblog author.

You gotta be kiddin me!!!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Japan - Kenny G
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
This entry has been labeled PRIVATE by the weblog author.

Some Funny Stuff
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
Why is the world so small? Why is it that people find out you're in a relationship and either (1) crawl out of the woodwork to try and have something that they either (a) discarded or (b) fucked over, or (2) they want to test your will power?

Needless to say this evening Cory came over this evening. Whereas we have fucked around almost every time he has come over in the past tonight it was different. We didn't fuck around. Think Ray had something to do with that? Absolutely! The thing about Cory that I find interesting is that in my opinion he doesn't know what he truly wants, but he wants to believe that he knows what he wants. One of the reasons why it didn't work out when we were dating a while back was because he didn't know what he wanted. Don't get me wrong, I still love him as a friend but that's the extent of it, even though I know he wants more, whether it's a true relationship or a sexual relationship I don't know. But I think we both know that it won't happen. (I know he'll be reading this entry.)

My friend D just buzzed from downstairs. More later....

People and their own agendas
Now Playing: Miami Mass Choir - The Storm Is Passing Over
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
You know it's a damn shame that people play too many games, especially black negroes, and get on their own agendas. I see now why women don't want to be bothered with us, and as a news station reported this week, "more black women are starting to date white men".

My car (Taz) had started overheating and I thought (and still do think) it's the thermostat. Carson came over last night in an attempt to fix the thermostat, and pissed me off by pointing to seven-thousand different things...EXCEPT the thermostat. He said I needed coolant (which I really didn't), then he said the heater core might be bad (but it was working just fine prior to him showing up and dumping anti-freeze all over the place), oh and did I mention that he didn't change the damn thermostat? If I ever see Carson again (or if he comes anywhere NEAR the complex) it'll be too soon. I'm not too happy with him right now, and at this point don't want to see him for any reason. So this morning I'll go out there and do it myself...change the thermostat that is.

The story behind Carson is that first, we agreed that he'd fix the thermostat yesterday (Friday) around 7. Then yesterday morning when I called him, he wanted to fix it Saturday but only wanted to spend the night Friday! In other words, you want some sex (which I am NOT going to give up) but you can't help a brotha with his car...sounds like someone I don't need in my life.

I have out-of-town company this weekend, so more later.

Rejection
Now Playing: Miami Mass Choir - I've Been Changed
Topic: Niggas and Negroes
I've noticed something. Now that I'm getting older, I seem to be attracting the young boys to me (I mean like 18, 19, etc). I make it a rule to not really get to know anyone under 23, and especially not under 21, because what can I do for them and what can they do for me?

Enter Kenny. He wanted so badly to try and talk to me on the first day that we bumped into each other (and I mean literally bumped into each other) downtown. But today I had to tell him that it just wasn't going to work because of his age and the fact that he smokes weed (I try not to date weed smokers either). He snapped and I hung up the phone...three times. This after telling him I'd call the cops if he ever called me again. Suddenly the calls stopped. I guess young boys don't take rejection too well.

It made me think back to when I was that age. I don't recall acting like that, if someone didn't want to be bothered I'd just leave them alone with no hard feelings. But now-a-days it's totally different. Some of them won't stop calling. Some act like it's a fatal attraction. I guess what they say is true, society has changed, and changed in such a way that we as black boys and black men are willing to destroy ourselves and hurt others for no reason what-so-ever. It's sad really. When stuff like this happens I think back to the good ol' days, the days where it was just all about love, about being real (I mean REALLY about being real). The days where you could go outside and not worry about being shot, the days of the good clubs like The Generator (can anybody remember that place?), hanging out on the lake and just talking...can anybody remember those days or am I alone here?

I'd give anything to have those days back, but since we can't turn back the clock, I guess I, and everyone else, will have to get used to it.

Another entry later...